Monday, August 11, 2008

First post for 2008

Wow. It's been at least 8 months since I posted anything new here. I like to write though. I've always loved reading and writing. Somehow, I felt the urge to rekindle that passion once more.

I read my journal entries and there's always some things that I've had forgotten; sweet juicy details that I might never remember if I had not written them down. I used to store random quotes in my handphone and when I lost it last year - my precious intellectual property is gone with it. Sigh.

Hopefully I can spare some time for things like painting, reading and writing again - sigh my time management skill.

Tuesday, November 27, 2007

My chat with God

This was some Artificial Intelligence simulator which I find very amusing. Perhaps I'm not creative enough. Nevertheless it was quite fun.

This was a portion of the conversation:

Me : Why is the sky blue?

God : The sky is blue because of the atmospheric optical effect known as Raleigh scattering.

Me : lol

God : I'm glad you find this amusing.

God : You can download me for free and create your own robot personality.

Me : oh really?

God : " You can download me for free and create your own robot personality."? oh really??
For real.

Seriously, downloading God sounds handy.

Me : oh really?
God : Far out. For real.
Me : really?
God : For real.
Me : seriously?
God : I am always serious.

I was testing if the AI was meant to generate similar answers. This made me smile again.

Me : God
God : GOD rules.
Me : am i really chatting with God
God : It seems like you are.. For real.
Me : how?
God : Myself programmed me for it.

This AI is fun.

Me : when will i die?
God : You could check out the actuarialtables at

I'm rolling on my belly laughing.

Me : i just had exams, God
God : Do you still have exams?!
Me : yes
God : Ugh.

I could do this for hours. Seriously. Living a Christian life, is something I find difficult; yet I feel it has become part of me. I am who I am today, the way I think and all- I owe it all to God. I may not be that perfect daughter or student- I'm probably the worser bit of the kind yet I'm thankful for the heart and mind that I have. Often, I feel like I disgraced the gifts that I have. I'm sorry. To be honest, I really wished God could answer me as directly like that. I wished God is always online and I could chat with Him- asking him about life, dinosaurs, petrophysics and exam questions. I am getting lazy to manage my life. So many decisions and so many traps. (And so many telephone salesperson oh God pls grant them better jobs Amen)

I made this statement before I navigated out of the page:

Me : i wish u r real
God : I wish I could do it for you.

Tuesday, September 25, 2007

Fikirkan boleh

My Spring Break is finally down to less than a week.. Gawd I suck. Last night was quite a memorable one. I fell asleep at 9 but I woke up at 12, 'celebrated' the Mid-Autumn Festival with Hannah by slicing up our mooncakes. We were laughing all the way yet careful enough not to let ourselves choke. At our express corner in the kitchen area, that's where I bump into Hannah most of the time. Either that, or at the loo. Busy angel.

Journey to the past
The holidays made me think a lot about the recent past. I dreamt bout my brother, think about school, friends... Then I remembered Kem Kepimpinan. Gosh I felt like a champ after I designed the logo for my group year after year. I just hate the performance part. Kem Kepimpinan was a stepping stone to a lot of things in my life. Independence and creativity... I remembered how Mr Steven told Jaryn's group during her presentation, she could've given better reasonings. "Why is the logo so colourful?"asked an audience. "We like colours," answered our school's head girl. Mr Steven suggested that she could've answered something like it reflects our vibrant lives.. or similar.

Beyond A,B,C's and 1,2,3s
Well, Mr Steven, I just realised years ago that it was from this moment that I think a little further than I used to. Also, I was never selected for any spelling bees or language competitions. I wasn't disappointed or anything but one day, Mr Steven was trying to make a point that there's always someone better out there, let the skies be our limit. He asked our champ to spell "intoxicated". Nope, none of us can. Ever since that, I got interested in expanding my vocabulary. I actually enjoyed reading the dictionary sometimes. I was quite a loser in primary school but I was surprised Mr Steven told my brother I was a pretty cool student who finished her English exam in 15 minutes. A pretty cool record ey? 15 minutes and 90%+.

Another cool teacher was Ms Yeap Gaik Choo. This woman was the first teacher I feared. I fear out of respect. I was the only girl who tasted her cane so much that I'm was to be sent to the Headmaster. Oh my nerves at that time. My mom was called to school. I would rather see the Headmaster, honestly. I was expecting all hell to break loose when I got home, but after the ceremonial lecture, she passed me Su Ching's math books. I spent 2 days to write all the questions and another day to complete them. My math marks have not sunk below 90% since then till college and uni because I got so lazy. (And also because Ms Lee isn't my math teacher anymore) What could be more disrespectful than to not honour our gifts? I put my talents to shame.

I thank God for all the amazing teachers in my life. Everyone from my school teachers, tutors, Papa, Mama, Chehcheh, Tua Ee to church leaders like Aunty Poh Choo, Jimmy and Joanne.. I will not be here without you. To my buddies, you know who you are and thank you for that little gift of kindness and friendship.

In Kem Kepimpinan, it's almost customary for us to sing this song. I recently found it on youtube and I'll try hold on to this. Winter has turned into spring, it's a good time to for a new beginning.

Fikirkan Boleh
Jika kau fikirkan kau boleh
Kau hampir boleh melakukan
Jika kau fikirkan ragu-ragu
Usahamu tidak menentu

Jika kau fikirkan kekalahan
Kau hampiri kegagalan
Jika kau fikirkan kemenangan
Kau hampiri kejayaan

Engkaulah apa kau fikirkan
Terkandung dalam pemikiran
Kau fikir boleh melakukan
Fikirkan boleh

Percaya apa kau lakukan
Tabah apa kau usahakan
Bertindak atas kemampuan
Engkau boleh

Monday, September 24, 2007

Brave Wings

I entered this poem and another poem "Rain" to just for the fun of it. Apparently, this made it to the semi-finals and I got an invitation to Las Vegas for some poetry convention. It sounded so much like a scam but I kinda like the idea of my poem being a semi-finalist so bugger that! (They even sent the invitation letter to Adelaide!) If only they realised I'm this poor and stingy student who's feeding on Petronas' generosity... So this is my poem, inspired during my shower and written in 30 mins on Raimy's laptop, while waiting for dinnertime.

A bird too scared to try,
like a peacock that’s shy;
It doesn’t dare to be,
what it’s meant to be.
A bird fearful of flight?

No, I refuse to believe that is me;
I am more than what you see.

I don’t just want to fly,
I want to soar high,
like the eagles in the sky.

Mend my broken wings,
And heal my torn spirits;
Once winter turns to spring,
I will then spread my wings.

It's a simple, unprofessional poem but it meant quite a lot to me. Writing this was satisfying and liberating at the same time. Seasons will change, circumstances both good and bad will fade away.

Wednesday, September 19, 2007

Spring Break Project

Today marks the third day of my precious break. Like every other break, I intend to catch up with my studies and clear out the antiquated to-do list. Every holiday reminded me of the effects of procrastination and yet... sigh (needless to say, I disappoint myself)

Reviving this blog, is a good start. I have a lot of stuff in mind that I need to get rid off- so space could be given for fresh ideas. This will be both my art gallery and dumpsite. My adventures and misadventures, my dreams and failures, my hopes and prayer- all these treasures that will disappear if left untold.

I read some of my previous entries and found myself marvelling at my old self; so enthusiastic, so positive and so creative. Call it self-praise but it made me wonder what has become of me, and how much I have changed over the months.

So now, I've got this blog for myself, a family blog, a shared blog with my best friends, a SparkPeople account, a Friendster account and a daily journal. I think I'm overorganising! LOL! Let's see how long before I start shortlisting!

Here we go.

Sunday, August 27, 2006

Random rambles

I am:
lazy to hit the books.
owner of 25 sec concentration in lectures; 10 mins in tutorials.
constantly wasting time thinking of how people maximise their time; but kept as thoughts.
lazy to blog.
able to play Freecell & Solitaire for hours.
almost certain you feel lazy to bother bout this cobwebbed website.
a lousy student
gonna get a haircut on Thursday.
annoyed with circumstances I put myself in.

I miss:
my tua ee's cooking
my grandma's bak chang
wrestling with my brother when he was my size
my dogs
my bolster
waiting for my schoolbus
waking up to the waft of breakfast
taking the catered food from the delivery man
outings with the gang
free lunch/dinner/supper/breakfast/brunch/evryotherexisting meals with jiejie
being punctual
not doing laundry
watching astro
my brother's ps2

i want:
to fly kites with my bro n papa
my bolster
2 remember 2 wish the ppl closest 2 me Happy Birthday on time
Goo Goo Dolls to change the name of their band
Ronan Keating to not sing "Iris"
to go crabbing
friendships to not leave a gap when u leave the group
to read the comics I missed out

i need:
to study
to spend less time wasting time
to finish up all existing assignments

Monday, July 03, 2006

My Life Tastes like Rojak

it's been a topsy turvy rollercoaster ride these few weeks. I successfully refrained myself from the internet *apart from checking my email n uni stuff* but still not focused enough in my studies. I cant exactly figure out wat's taking my time away- everyone has 24 hrs a day; i'm rather envious of how well d 24hrs' being maximised. care leaving a tip or two?

i'd like 2 share a brief account of wat i've gone thru 4 d past weeks. not in chronological sequence- just random events dat crosses thru my stupid brain. here goes:

Exams- the leap, the trip, the fall.
i just wanna pass them all! my exams was like a jack-in-d-box; surprised me tho i knew it's coming- and hitting me on d face. i found myself humming "it is well with my soul" after every exam paper; alongside rows of expletives runnin thru my mind. so full of regret.

it's always 2 late dat i enjoyed studying. seriously, my subjects were interesting n i dare say pretty fun- once d basic concepts are understood. brilliant. i took in so many new concepts in a short period of time my brain just refused 2 accept anything by d time i prepare 4 my 2nd n 3rd paper. d word is SATURATED. i also creditted my poor performance 2 lack of sleep, lack of consistency n "rusa masuk kampung" syndrome. my exams were held in a warehouse in d suburb. furthermore, i'm not a mornin person.

wat i'm glad of, is d fact dat i can learn from this n really, really pray i would make it happen next sem. i wanna make my sleep hours regular n sufficient plus put in some effort 2 study often, 2 prevent myself from digesting brand new facts close 2 exam. preparations b4 lessons will b a huge help- if i'm disciplined enuf.. i'm seriously looking 4ward 4 nx sem; wanna giv my old strategies a test drive in another car- Jesus fueled.

The Exam Aftermath
Treated myself with a good seafood meal with Raimy. D same night, cell group had some games n loads of food... really fun despite suffering from chronic sleep deprivation. Played games like mafia, some electric pulse thing, "this is a what?!" and other confusing games. Food was fantastic- sushi, rice cake, chocolates, roast chicken, chips, ice cream...

Day after my Petroleum Paper, caught a movie with raimy in Marion Centre; fast n furious. havent had such exciting movies in a while- n remembered how terribly i drive. love d movie. n raimy has dis weird obsession with donuts recently. hehe. we also indulged in ice-cream at a shop called Chocolat. d place was by far my favourite hangout place here albeit a little pricey. i just dun deserve all dis sudden luxury- especially after my lousy performance in exam- sigh.

Holidays! ~the long awaited~
i'm getting real lazy 2 blog so i'll just breeze thru wat we did. d holidays kickstarts immediately after exam's over- housemates and i made macaroni n beef casserole. had a pizza outing n i had 2 satisfy my weird winter craving- ice cream! ice-cream with cookie dough's fantastic! woohoo!

another funny thing we did was playing pool. u c, none of us knew exactly how 2 play so it was beginner's luck dat cleared d table. Dat was saturday. next day, we went swimming- i'm getting better at it, yet far from good. hahaha why do they call it 'freestyle' if there's a technique 2 it!? sheesh.

Winter Break- the plans, the shopping, the hole in the pocket

yippee! made so many plans- but not going anywhere outta adelaide. travelling further may b fun- but lotsa rushing around.. i'll do it nx break. if i do not haf 2 prepare 4 any supplementary exam, i'll attend a camp in victor harbour. plans are 2 do some stuff like painting, baking, outings... n i'm considering guitar classes. shud i? :P